survival

well. i seem to have survived my little episode yesterday. thank you all for your support. it meant a lot to me to have people's encouragement and love. last night after writing my post i went and had sourkraut and sausages with pam and bernd (the owner of the house we're staying at). he gave me wine to make everything better. and after dinner pam and i debriefed a bit about the day and i cried and expressed my frustrations and struggles and then i felt better. and then i went and had a shower and got ready for bed and watched ratatouille in bed on kyle's ipod. and i fell asleep rather peacefully.

today we had a bit of a later start so i was able to read some emails and prepare myself for the day and i made myself a promise that i was going to rise to the challenge and learn and take corrections but i wasn't going to allow myself to be injured by negative attitudes or mean people. i decided to make myself proud today instead of sad and self-pitying.

and it was a good day. i felt way more on top of things and i was able to dance much more freely without my own doubts in the way. plus i think christina knew that she went a little bit far yesterday. and i think she needs a day off... she's been working 7 days a week and so yesterday she was short tempered and today she was slow moving and less motivated (which was much easier to deal with...) i'm a little bit worried what's going to happen as her stress rises though. i think we're in for a stressful couple weeks. the show opens in just barely over 2 weeks and we have a lot of work to do...

so, i don't think i'm quite out of the woods yet but i am feeling better today and i feel confident that i can get through this and i will be so grateful for the lessons i'm learning while i'm here.